EDITORIALS

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June 3, 2014

In case you missed it

The Maroon reflects on some of the notable news stories of the past year.

Another year has come and gone, and with it many trials and tribulations, discourses and dialogues, evolutions and expansions. Oh, and some news—that happened, too. In case you missed any of it, here’s a quick recap of the year’s headlines, with a few overlooked stories.

1. Fourth Meal returned to South Campus because of low attendance at Bartlett during winter quarter. In other news, classes will also be moved to South Campus because of low attendance during winter quarter.

2. Plein Air Café opened. Now you don’t have to go to the North Side to drink iced tea out of a mason jar.

3. Student Government got a new website, a vast improvement over the old one, the navigation of which could only be managed after passing CS 152.

4. Freenters got hacked and the per-page cost of making copies at libraries went up. Students have reportedly resorted to turning in papers carved onto clay tablets.

5. You lost your toe to frostbite, but at least you didn’t miss a day of Sosc.

6. Edwardo’s and Ribs N Bibs closed, but that’s OK, because new, locally owned restaurants like Chipotle and Starbucks have sprung up to replace them.

7. Chicago Bound continued for a second year, giving many first-years the power to arbitrarily use the word gentrification in way more conversations than necessary.

8. UChicago joins Universal Application. Now your roommate next year could be from Uranus.

9. “University of Illinois, are y'all ready for this?!?!?!?!?!?”

10. The acceptance rate is down even though the application rate decreased. Fewer people like us and we like fewer people.

11. Plot twist: We still don’t have a Level I trauma center.

12. The University sold Harper Court less than a year after purchasing it just because the Lagrangian said it maximized utility.

13. Does anyone actually get books from Mansueto?

14. Ode to Pierce. Your hard outer shell removed, your halls laid bare, your walls were ripped clean, and your soul was unwillingly shared. Your faulty plumbing reproved, because for it we have no trust, your seals were for all to see, until they turned to dust.

The Editorial Board consists of the Viewpoints Editors and the Editorial Staff.

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