A time for progress

In honor of College Break Day, the Maroon Editorial Board is calling the University to action. Here are our most demanding demands. Go big or go home, University!

February 13, 2015

1. U Pass. I Pass. We Pass. All our classes.

2. More shuttles downtown. More shuttles to other neighborhoods in Chicago. More shuttles out of state. More shuttles to New York City. More shuttles to replace Amtrak. More shuttles to replace Greyhounds and Megabuses across the nation. Shuttles to the moon. Shuttles to the ’60s. Shuttles to the 1760s.

3. Cancel classes when it’s cold.

4. UEA vs. FBI vs. CLI: GAME TIME. Live televised showdown (sponsored by the IOP).

5. Have students’ Yakarma score negatively factored into their GPAs.

6. BAN FREE SPEECH

7. If we miss out on the Obama Library here are some other meaty options: Nate Silver Library, Tucker Max Memorial Library, Renee Granville-Grossman Library, Dun Boyir Lyberry for Iconomyk Studiez, Kuko Omelet Museum Library.

8. Campus climate survey on campus climate. (Too hot or too cold? More precipitation? Less?? Snow??? Wintry mix????)

9. Annual ski trip to the summit of Mansueto (150 feet)

10. Dean Boyer (D-Bo), will you be my Valentine?

11. Bean Boyer (B-Bo), will you be my Valenbean?

12. Study Abroad: Fort Wayne, Indiana.

13. Study Abroad: Hyde Park.

14. Study Abroad: My off-campus apartment.

15. Aramark.

Happy Valentine’s Day

xoxo, The Maroon Editorial Board

Leave a Comment

Donate to Chicago Maroon

$800

$2000

Contributed

Our Goal

Your donation makes the work of student journalists of University of Chicago possible and allows us to continue serving the UChicago and Hyde Park community.

About the Contributor

Maroon Editorial Board

Board Members

Elena Eisenstadt

The Editorial Board publishes editorials that represent The Maroon's institutional voice. Seven to 10 voting-eligible members of The Maroon compose the Board. The editor-in-chief runs the editorial board, and the managing editor is required to be a member. Each member of the Board has equal voting power. No more than three members of the Editorial Board may dissent from a published editorial. If more than three members dissent, the editorial may not be published. Dissenters are entitled but not required to explain the reason(s) for their dissent at the end of the editorial.

Chicago Maroon

Chicago Maroon

Chicago Maroon

A time for progress

Chicago Maroon

Comments (0)